Monday, July 17, 2017

A Juncture of Circumstance

"May I ask about something?" "No." "Then I won't, but I will tell you about something." "Don't bother with that as well." "I guess you no longer need me do you?" "It's been awhile since I talked to you, to myself." "It's been months actually? October of last year was the last was it?" "I guess so." "I missed this. Talking to you, but I'm glad you didn't because every time you do you're in pain." "The next time I maybe talking to you, which I hope doesn't happen, I would probably suffering a great deal of pain."

I remember the days when things were getting out of hand. I remember the months and years saying I was happy and this is what I wanted. I remember agonizing through the consequences of my actions, but not realizing there are other actions to combat the consequences. I was clouded and enveloped in the darkness. They said I was too blind to see, I was too deaf to hear, and I was too numb to feel. I knew the people who cared for me shouting at my ears, shaking me from the grasps of the emptiness I've put myself into, and guiding me for I can not see, were there all the time. Now, it's been more than a year of how much I have learned to grow by setting myself free.. AND TO GROW EVEN FURTHER BY SETTING MYSELF FREE IN SOMEONE ELSE'S CRADLE. If there is anything I have learned about myself is that I am patient beyond others can withstand. This time for the past 11 months I have learned to put my patience where it properly lies... in you.

Yes! YOU! The one who's eager to see me in the morning when the entire night we were beside each other all the time. Yes, you, the one who's excited to see me grow out of the weakness I have succumbed to. Yes, you, the one who's grown more fond of what we have for knowing along the way what we have always lacked. Yes, you, the one that has shown nothing but understanding and a strong resilience for my headstrong tendencies. Yes, you, the one that smiles for every reason whether good or bad. Yes, you, the one that says "the world is harsh and it's difficult" but keep your amazing ideas alive and believe in it with optimism. Yes, you, the one that felt the pain and torment of which I have similarly felt, with an urge for vengeance to prove that sometimes we're human and can never best ourselves. Yes, you, the one who's hours spent with you felt like seconds, and seconds spent without you felt like years. Yes, you, the one who is lost and drowning in optimism who asks for my guidance in all your plans. Yes, you, the one who sees to my plans that I am the one who is optimistic. Yes, you, the one I cannot get out of my head and the one I try to place in a pedestal. Yes, you, the one that the people who love me also love. Yes, you, the person that I love. Yes, you.

Thinking to myself again and again. How hard could it be? It just seems so easy the moment I met you, the moment everything fell into place so effortlessly. Thank you. Thank you for letting me see again, to hear again, and to feel again. Maybe someday the questions we keep on asking each other about how come we've only met just now will be answered, but I doubt it will ever be answered. I guess we just have to let it be? I don't need to find the answers anyway on why I only met you, because you are the answer to all my remaining questions. I promise, I won't lose sight of you.

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