Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Respite the Polemic

Your argument is invalid and never will it be valid again. Now this! Something I'm so happy about! :D His name is Potchi! It's a gift that I promised to someone I like... :"> Hehehe! Finally not a heavy hearted emotional post right? :)

I would do anything for Potchi! :D He's like the son I would never have. So concerned about his needs, simple actions that sometimes both worry me and amaze me. He is the most lovable little creature of happiness! :D I would want to visit him soon, but I'm sure he's happy being taken care of by "****" hehehe! :) He's still a little puppy so he shouldn't be stressed so much though! And all attention must be on him! CUTE! :)

A picture of them together makes me smile that sometimes my parents wonder why I smile so widely. :) Hahaha! I miss you both! :D Potchi and "****". :D Take care of Potchi, I'll visit you both! :)

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Altercations and Skirmishes

"You've been played." "I'm not that weak to concede to your ideas." "Oh really? Your so called blessings have been draining the very humanity that remains in you." "I suffer for this blessing and all form of love goes through hardships." "Did I ever mention love?" "You're trying to point out something about what I've been going through." "Fine you know what you win, it's your decision. Let go and live happily, or hold on and survive suffering?" "In the name of love, I would suffer but in the end I will live happy and will be simply contented."

This picture describes what has been going through my head right now. A never ending argument, my indecisiveness have clouded my judgement. In one way or another, we all get to suffer... It's your choice, not yours. Who are these people telling me to let go?! How dare you! I'm not here to follow you... Or maybe I should? My mind is slowly being ravaged. It hurts no matter what I do.

No matter where I go, I've been played... Even there is no one around who can play me, I do not know why but I play and hurt myself. Too long, I say that this battle has been going through! In the name of your remaining dignity, we fight and suffer this long battles... I'm just scared, confused, unsure, hopeless, helpless, and many more, but I know in the end I'll be happy...

THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR FAR TOO LONG! IT'S BEEN YEARS! And while I lay bloody on the side of my savior, it scares me that it will leave me or actually do what I call it, my savior. I'm sorry if you got confused by what I'm saying, but this battle has to end although I know it wouldn't! THESE 18 YEARS OF MY EXISTENCE... Should I already say, "So long divine plan." or "Welcome my heartfelt sorrow."?

God of mercy and never ending grace, I must ask help from You and You know it wouldn't be the last... Just please, just let go of me... I'm so sorry! :'(

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Non-Odious and Ineffable

First of all it's been awhile since I last blogged so sorry. This one would be a prayer inspired by a person I just recently met, and understands what I go through. I wouldn't replace this person which I consider to be God's gift to me. This person strengthened my faith in God, without this person knowing. I thank You God! And I thank you too...

We've only been together a few times and this person's company has been heart whelming this person knows what I go through and gladly supports me. Losing this person would be like a huge loss from my life because I consider this person to be God's gift to me. I have long sought for understanding from people and this person comes along. Witty, playful, fun to be with, and to think that we have been only met together for just a short time... I have cried in front of this person without shame!

I wonder if ever I was also a gift from God to this person, but whatever God is planning, LET IT BE... This person won my heart many times over, and I would gladly give it! I have kept promises to this person and I would be one of the worst people in the world if I can't even keep my promises! You know God that I have been praying for this special person, not on my knees but on my fours... I have patiently waited, and I would not standby and lose this gift! Although, there has already been some misunderstanding, I know I would be provided the time to speak and listen to this person... Reconcile, and have the relationship that God wants us to have!

If you're reading this, the very special person I consider to be God's gift, thank you so much for being there when I cried about the problem that you would keep, being there just to fulfill my simple joys... And I apologize if I ever hurt you in ways I was so unaware and insensitive to realize! Just so you know! I wouldn't replace you for anyone else... Two words is enough! "Please stay..." :')