Saturday, October 22, 2011

The Obstinate Savant

Is this punishment, is this torment, or does this give me an obvious reason that I won't be having the future that everyone wanted for me? Too busy distracting myself, too busy covering up, too busy trying to be someone I'm not, telling myself that I can't find another way out. I know my mistakes, I know who I am. I'm intelligent when it comes to things that involve myself, but allow myself to be close-minded from things that other people find disturbing.

I am well aware of the shallowness that people allow themselves to have. Judging others, but never learn to judged themselves and reflect. They envelop in infinite hypocrisy. They think they know better. They have even blinded my own judgement. Powerful how they can manipulate my actions when my mind tries to negate it. I know I'm losing it and I know that I'm unhappy about it. I learned from mistakes that these, what we so call "people", ravaged from. Giving no obvious reason for their insecurity and insensitivity.

They're obviously lost, they can't fucking take care of themselves, yet I allow them to run my life in fear. So much to lose from one simple mistake, and no, neither family nor friends will abstain from obstinacy. If my reasons for this reflection I'm writing today, is portraying what I'm trying to hide you better fucking keep it to yourself and let it be a secret. People don't learn when they don't talk about it to people directly. Please learn to listen, just not to me, but also to others.

We're given this short life to change, and to make peace... Whether there is an afterlife or no afterlife we better make our lives fulfilling just not for ourselves but for others too. Spread the love, learn from the pain. Pity the obstinate, appreciate the savant... This may be vague, but I know few people will know what I'm talking about.