Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Vilification and Subterfuge

Dishonesty, deception, and deceit. All forms of the inability to accept what is right... Well for my point of view. There are some things that are negative that we just can't accept and dwell on it which we just keep wasting our lives on. People are bitches period. That's one of the few things that is so hard to accept and the fact that I'm a bitch too allows me to accept that people are really what they want to be.

We have been lying every now and then, and yes it is fine to lie when it helps us survive through our daily lives. It is very hard and very rare to find people living happily than people surviving trying to be happy. If the world reduced and if better annihilate any form of dishonesty we would have an easier time to understand the world and accept people in it. Not to be a hypocrite... yes I do judge people and yes I know you do too... It is very hard to avoid judging especially when they have wronged someone.

I don't know... maybe I'm just getting a little too observant to realize these things or probably I'm not... I don't know what I'm saying anymore.. It's just to hard to comprehend with everyone's changing moods especially when it is necessary to please them to survive.

I'm just really having a difficult time to know what is right and wrong in this world that sometimes we just lie to ourselves... and if we do the more we have to deal with dishonesty... so for backstabbing and plastic people... I hope you get backstabbed (LITERALLY)! :) Maybe I'm just too scared to admit that people are hopeless and thinking about it made me realize that they are. Sometimes we do change or cover who we really are just to belong and yes these are the forms of deception that are acceptable... but it is still a form of deception... So yah I don't know maybe the world is just hopeless. God's probably pissed at me for thinking this way but it's also something that I should accept. :|

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Enmity, Animus, & Rancor

"I saw you a while ago." "So?" "Nothing just telling..." "..." "It's been a long time since we've met. So, how are you?" "Never felt worse." "Why?!" "I don't know... the world sucks! It hates me, and everyone hates me!" "Really? So why do you think I'm talking to you." "So you can exploit my secrets and further hate me..." "I'm sorry for the way you view the world." "Don't be, if it wasn't for me and other people like me... The world won't feel any sympathy."

Fear, hatred, & anger, people use this to create a world filled with fa├žades. We are so afraid to show what we truly feel and who we truly are and I'm sick of people telling this: "You should show what you really feel and forget about how other people treat you." Yes I get your point but that is so stupid, people put on a mask because it's about them SURVIVING the world, and because it eases them to go through their lives WITHOUT other people or SOME other people judging them. If you are trying to hide you're true feelings it's not a sin, and it won't kill you but it would hurt you and it will help keep you surviving in a bitchy world we live in.

Hatred, if you hate others they would hate you back... so what do you have? More hatred. I feel kind of guilty a while ago during our Batch Recollection because the guy from FISH, George Gabriel, said that "... for those who look at the negative things about people and the world... have you seen yourself smiling so often?(translated from TAGALOG :D)". Yes I am pretty judgmental(BTW it's correct spelling!) about everything and everyone and yes I do realize I'm not really happy often... Yes we have a few(ACTUALLY MANY) occasional laughs but it still doesn't change the fact that I'm not happy in the world I live in. I do my best to keep my mind open so if I start to know the person better it will change my view about them.

Conclusion! :)) Formal theme writing LOL! :D Anyway a world filled with happiness and goodness is impossible and idealistic... like WORLD PEACE! (hypocrite) And we cannot remove all the negative people around us and judgmental people like me, but if you're one of the strong ones who stay happy although this chaos surrounds us... stay happy... because you change the chaos that surrounds you into something better and if not, you serve as a sanctuary or an oasis who thirst for happiness.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Manifold Envisages

"TIME HAS PASSED... LET GO! BECAUSE IT WILL SURELY LEAVE YOU!" "I'm tired of what you say..." "How about a nice cup of coffee?" "What I don't get it?" "Don't jump!" "What are you saying?" "Stop dancing! Just kidding!" "I DON'T UNDERSTAND TELL ME?!" "My last breath..." "TELL ME!"

Dreams confusing and misleading it may seem, people want it and they also want to remember it. People say dreams tell you a message that may help you solve problems that you're facing, and sometimes dreams induce more problems with unsolved nightmares. I posted a blog three posts ago about lucid dream and how it can help.

Anyway I've been dreaming and aware I've been dreaming and I still can't control it. My dream two days ago was it was a Post-apocalyptic 2011 where me and other people are stranded in a junk shop. A man with a truck teleported in front of us with a man telling us to ride the truck, but not only did the truck teleported but hordes of zombies came, we defended ourselves and no one was hurt. Then my dream's focus shifted to a nuclear power plant being destroyed by activists, the same people I defended myself from zombies, and the lake behind the junk shop stop spewing toxic waste and the funny thing was that the lake was in cartoon drawing. Proceeding... a man sitting on a wall made with "YERO" (I don't know the english for it, it's the metal stuff placed for the roofs). This part was funny because I got my belt hit the "YERO" with my belt and let the man sitting on it, which was my classmate (don't wanna mention names), fall down the lake. I then proceeded to the man who brought the truck and ask him why the zombies weren't attacking him then... I WOKE UP!

Freakishly weird and fun the only part I controlled my dream was the guy sitting on the "YERO" and me making him fall of it. :)) Kinda experimenting with dreams.. :)) LOL! PRACTICE LUCID DREAMING GUYS! It's recommended especially those who really want to remember their dreams or control it... :D

Friday, March 11, 2011

Circumvented and Tarryed


Anybody a fan of Onerepublic? :)) Well I've been waiting for a long time already for them to visit the Philippines and they won't come. They even tweeted about it saying: "Philippines? not sure when but hopefully soon." and this was November 2009!

I really want them to come. Being a big fan of every last song from the original albums to Deluxe Editions and extra iTunes tracks. I can no longer wait. :)) If they come I'm gonna ask my mom money no matter how much the backstage passes are (MEET & GREET?). :))

Anyway still hoping and waiting for them to come. PLEASE! :) It's been a long time since I went to a concert... :| LOL.. sad :|

Discord and Mellifluousness


Musical Inclination some may have the ability to play but don't even know how to read notes. I feel kinda bitter that I've been playing, practicing and taking lessons for piano for almost 11 Years and others are still better than me because they have better ear to instrument adjustment.

Yes they may have played it but usually not in the proper scale making it yah sound the same just not in proper pitch and when you ask them do you know what not what're pressing right now they don't even know what it is.

AND YES! Chords! People who play chords think they're so good at playing their instrument such as piano and guitar. THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT NOTES ARE IN A CHORD! Just because it's a C chord doesn't mean the notes you're playing are all C! C chords notes are: Do, Mi and Sol (C,E, & G).

I know I'm bitter and yes there are popular artists who use their ears to play new songs and of course all songs have chords. But hey I know meaning and emotions are a big part of music but don't get me wrong when music doesn't involve notes.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Diaphanous Vagary

So two weeks ago me and my cousin on my father side decide to visit my cousin in my mother side since he is gonna borrow a game and decided to accompany him. We got there at night and laughed at some random pictures and one of those was how to Lucid Dream. He was so fascinated that he kept the steps and I tried it for myself.

Lucid dreams are dreams you can control, observe, and clearly remember. I practiced and my goodness it is working it says that the first step to control your dream is to remember it so that you would be aware that you're dreaming and goodness I remember clearly all my dreams and there are plenty of them.

Well I've been having a hard time observing because I still have that inability to do reality checks while dreaming. Having a lucid dream can be so rewarding and the good thing about lucid dreaming it can process your thoughts properly and you can continue a dream by remembering where you left off. It's highly recommended if you do this especially for those having nightmares so you can control your dream and even just observe what really is happening. :D It's kinda creepy by the way when you have a nightmare and you just observe and you don't know what to do and you can't get out. :))

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Lackaidaisical and Detrimental

So yesterday was the start our PTs! and for graduating students like me we start a week or 2 weeks before the undergraduates start taking their PTs... If it's a PT week it will be a half day. So we had our Math and Filipino PT yesterday and things got I don't know useless... :)

Me and my friend waited for our school buses. Her's was already at school and was able to leave at 12:00 pm leaving me with my 2 other busmates who are also apparently waiting for the bus. My other busmate suggested we commute because she had enough money to cover us all. Planning to ride the train we just went for the Taxi since we are three that we can split the money fairly without counting the cost. Got to my other busmate's village but to bad the guard got the driver's license to allow us to get into his village leaving me and my other busmate to ride the tricycle because there is no way he can get into our village without turning back to the direction we just passed making us waste more than P 200.

Riding the designated tricycle for my other busmate's village we only stopped at our village's gate to save an P 50. We walked and then we split after passing her house then I eventually realized that my pants are lighter. Patting through my pants and pocket I realized I lost my BlackBerry! :( 3 Blocks away from my home I can't stop cursing! :(

Losing my phone made me lose my interest to study for the next PT! :( Badtrip! :(